


the belonging you seek

by onlybylaura



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix It Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Reylo - Freeform, Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, and i wish we'd had more time to let it all sink in, but i can't believe it's canon..... actually canon..... the wars from 2015 were worth it, canon compliant fic, i will take my validation and validate it even more in the way i want it to be, kind of, the kiss from ben's pov, they did this movie dirty but i'm still putting out my thoughts on the kiss, this was just.... i have a lot of feelings, though still compliant because i love pain and suffering!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlybylaura/pseuds/onlybylaura
Summary: He looks around, hopeless as her head lolls back, staring at the open sky of the stars that watch above them. If there was still a chance, if there was still something, if there’s anyone who will come and stop this—but there’s nobody here to witness the fall of the last jedi.  He sighs deeply, his body trembling, lungs fighting for breath.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 16
Kudos: 131





	the belonging you seek

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still so in conflict about the general plot of TROS, and I hate retconning Rey's lineage, but I hope you all enjoy that lingering feeling of victory that comes from this kiss. The Reylos were right.

He claws his way back from the pit.

The shatters of the battle lay all around him, the air still smells like acrid lightning, sizzling the atmosphere. It’s heavy, and his skin and bones and body feel like the world’s coming to an end, because in the end, it is. He trips and falls, but he claws his way back, finds her among the shattered old Sith temple.

There are no crowds, no chanting, no statues. No witnesses as his heart half stops as he sees her laid down, sabers forgotten, her body silent like the temple. Outside, the battle is crashing, but he can’t hear it.

Ben Solo kneels down next to Rey, and he sees her eyes first. Dead eyes. Unmoving.

His lower lip quivers, because it can’t be for nothing, this all couldn’t have been for nothing. He’d thrown all of it away, he’d finally heeded the call, he’d come home—home, to the only person he knew who would welcome him, the only person who still mattered in the fight.

He kneels next to her, his whole body shivering from the sight. Trembling from the cold. Slowly, ever so slowly, he picks her up, afraid that she’s going to disintegrate the moment he holds her. The touch is like starfire, like lightning, but not nearly as painful. No pain he ever felt before comes close to this.

He looks around, hopeless as her head lolls back, staring at the open sky of the stars that watch above them. If there was still a chance, if there was still something, if there’s anyone who will come and stop this—but there’s nobody here to witness the fall of the last jedi. He sighs deeply, his body trembling, lungs fighting for breath.

He hesitates a moment before he pulls her to him.

He holds her close, folds his body into hers.

It’s not how he thought it was going to go. He’d never been this close to anyone, not like this, and he misses his armor, his thicker clothes, because he can feel every inch of his body touch her, unite with her, and she doesn’t respond and all he wants to do is break. He can’t even say a word, all gone from his lips, into the dark. Nothing, nothing at all.

He holds her for what feels like a long time, until he shivers again, and his right hand descends back to her torso, to the place where her heart was supposed to be beating.

_I wanted to take your hand. I wanted to take Ben’s hand._

Ben puts his hand over her wound, and he pours himself out on her.

It’s not a roar, not a scream, but a silent plea. The same please from before echoing in his mind, the same outstretched hand, his palm laid bare against her torso, and all he wants is to let this all go. Take his life, put it back into hers, because if she’s gone, if she’s gone, there’s no light here. She was the one who always saw it in him, and he wanted it back.

He wants Rey. Rey, as she is. Rey, just Rey.

It never mattered who she was, truly, whose lineage she’d descended from. Ben Solo knew better than most that legacy was not a thing to carry proudly, it was a thing that turned hearts sour, a burden placed on young shoulders who’d rather run away than face disappointment. And in the end, the running didn’t matter either. He’d found his way back.

He trembles and shakes and stays firm because he can’t get up, he can’t move, and his body will crystallize here, in this position, holding her, not letting her fall away into the dark, not to this forgotten place, not to a place where she doesn’t belong. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to stop the tears, feeling their wetness and disgrace upon his eyelashes, and it’s the weakness he always felt, but this time, he welcomes it.

And there, a hand that covers his.

Ben doesn’t believe it for a moment. It’s a reflex, a piece of debris falling back, and he forces himself to look, and something shifts beneath his hand, a small, trembling breath that’s drawn.

Rey opens her eyes, and sits up.

He shudders, the tears threatening to fall, because it worked, somehow, it worked and she’s here, she’s alive, she’s back, her cheeks are red and her eyes are wide open and she stares back at him. The world stops as they look at each other, as their eyes meet, and that one moment is worth it. It lasts forever.

His right hand still around her neck, their gaze holding, still unbelieving.

“Ben,” she breathes, alive, alive, alive.

She opens up a smile, and it’s the brightest, clearest thing he has ever seen. The light of the Force does not compare to it. This is here, this is now, she is alive. She keeps smiling as she puts her left hand on his cheek, her thumb covering the scar. And he’s relieved, and he’s scared, and this was what he wanted, and she’s the one who bridges the gap first.

Her lips are soft on his. He doesn’t dare move as their mouths touch, and his breath goes to her, his breath, his body, his life, and it’s all he ever wanted, and for the first time, he’s free of the pain. Free of the voices. Free of everything but the gentlest of touches, and he feels her own life force, taking it in, alive, thriving.

He holds her, both hands clasping around her back, and he can feel the touch, her hands clasping his face, holding him there. It feels good. The touch is welcome. Her scavenger hands are rough against his cheeks, and he can feel the blood above her right eye, and all of it, and it’s enough to last him a lifetime.

She lets go and he looks at her again.

He smiles, and he didn’t know his muscles still stretched that way, that he was capable of this one thing. And he wishes that he could keep smiling forever, until everything stops hurting, as long as those brown eyes are looking at him. As long as she smiles, as long as she’s alive. It lasts a second, but it lasts forever. That one moment held close within the stars.

He feels himself falling back, and Rey holds him before he hits the ground, their hands still clasped together.

Still holding each other, even when everything else falls away.


End file.
